Editing Life

In his new book, START, Jon Acuff references 5 stages of adult life.

1. Learning (20s)

2. Editing (30s)

3. Mastering (40s)

4. Harvesting (50s)

5. Guiding (60s)

Although the age groups of these stages are not true for everyone, so far it has been true for my life.  I took my 20s head on and although I will never stop learning, have taken advantage of as many opportunities as possible.  Other than graduating from college and getting a job, I took advantage of nearly every opportunity to get more involved in my school, school district, church, and other personal endeavors.  I worked multiple jobs, developed an incredible network of friends, experienced a lot of really cool stuff, and of course Katy and I welcomed a baby boy into our family.

Well I only have a few days left in my 20s as my 30th birthday is right around the corner.  After this past "crazy season" it is time to do some editing.  How do I know its time?  Because I've had something on my schedule every single evening for the last 9 days.  That doesn't include my day job or being a husband or father!  

So I have begun the editing process.  I'm creating a list of everything I am involved in, all of the roles I play and all of the hats I wear.  There are a lot of good things on this list and I hate to bow out and say no as they are all for a good cause.  But I'm learning that sometimes you have to say no to lot of good things in order to say yes to the best things like leading my wife and young son.

As I've done some editing, I've already taken off 5 hats.  And with each hat that comes off and with each good role I give up, that is extra time I will be able to spend with my family.

Editing your life is an incredibly reflective process and I have learned so much about myself and my priorities.  I still have a long way to go as I have only begun.  Just to be clear, if I could do these things all over again, I probably would.  In fact, I am encouraging others to take my spot.  However, in this particular stage of life, its best to let someone else enjoy these good things while I take advantage and enjoy the best things. 

The Best Things!

What stage are you in?  Do you need to do some editing?  Do you need to give up some good things to have more time for great things?

Cheating Destroys Character

I recently had the privilege of attending the Freshmen Leadership Retreat with some of the best students at my school.  It was refreshing getting to know some of the current and future leaders of our school.  The purpose of the day is to develop leadership skills.  They do this by team building, playing games, an having learning sessions throughout the day.

The great part about these crazy games is that they often bring out character traits and provide quick teaching moments.  For example, the students were playing that game with the hula hoop where you're holding hands and have to pass it around a circle by going through it.  (Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about because everyone has played that game!)

Even though these were some of the best students in the school, one group did the unthinkable.

Energy is Half Contagious

One of the many things my wife and I learned while working at Pine Cove Camps is that energy and enthusiasm are contagious.  However, they are only half contagious. This means that if you are at 50% energy level, your campers (students, followers, employees, etc) will only be at  25%.

So if you're giving 100%, the people your are trying to energize will increase their enthusiasm to about 50%.  I can see you doing the math and you're right no leader wants followers only giving 50%.  So what do you do?

Standard Greeting @ Pine Cove :)

You guessed it, give more than 100%!  I know it seems impossible to do but think of it this way:  100% is normal energy level.  The status quo.  100% is regular.  It's average.  As a leader, if your max effort is average, the vast majority of your followers are going to be below average.

Which is why if you go to Pine Cove Camps, you'll find everyone that works there is over the top.  Absolutely bonkers!  Crazy with seemingly unending energy! They know because they are taught that if they want camper energy to be at 100%, they have to be at 200%.  How do they get there?  The camp director, program director, and leadership team are all maxing out at 400%!


This same principle carries over into parenting as well.

Many people comment that our son Beau smiles all the time, which is totally true.  We could get into the nature vs nurture debate and I certainly agree that babies are born with particular demeanors.  However I think Beau smiles so much because we make a conscious effort to slap on the biggest grin every time we see him.  Katy and I smile, laugh, and over the top celebrate as much as possible because we believe in the principle that energy is 1/2 contagious.

Where did we learn that you ask?  From the wife of one of the directors at Pine Cove Camps! :)

By the way...so excited about heading back to Pine Cove this year.  We get to experience the camper side of things at The Woods Family Camp!

Taking Back Your Resolutions

It has been just over 2 months since our 2013 New Year's Resolutions were developed.  Statistics show that over 75% of us have failed at whatever it is we were trying to start or stop in 2013.  And because it didn't go as planned and because we missed a day or a week or had a setback or gained a pound or whatever it was that we wanted to change this year, we gave up.  We threw in the towel on a year long resolution because of a few mistakes.

Why do we do that?  Why do we give up so quickly?  Chances are your goals for 2013 are challenging for you, or you wouldn't have them as goals.

So if you're like me (and I know I am) maybe today is the day that you start over.  Today is the day that we declare a do-over on our 2013 goals and resolutions.  

Chances are we are going to slip up again.  We are still going to have roadblocks, challenges, and bad days.  But if we just take it one day at a time, break it down into small victories, we will can gain some momentum back and accomplish whatever we started at the beginning of the year and more.

The same is true for Lent.  If you gave up or started something for the season of Lent, you may have messed up.  I know I have.  That doesn't mean that we give up.  That doesn't mean we stop.  It means we made a mistake and need to try again starting now.

Do you need to declare a do-over?

Something Good Leaders Have In Common

As a young leader I am always looking for successful people to pick their brains.  Whether it is leading at home, at work, at church, or in the community I want to make a positive impact with this life God has blessed me with.

In the last 5 years I've met with dozens of people that I respect and consider successful leaders in one area or another.  Each has a different philosophy on a number of issues but there is ONE THING THAT ALL LEADERS AGREE ON...(at least the one's I've talked to or read about).

All leaders express the importance of mentors.   Find one person or a few people that have been where you have been and learn from them.  Luke had Yoda.  Plato had Socrates.  Aristotle had Plato.  Danielson had Mr. Miyagi.  Tim Duncan had David Robinson.  The most successful people in the world had excellent mentors.  If you want to be great then finding someone that you respect and look up to is beneficial.

As couple, find a successful married couple that you respect and ask them what makes them successful.

As a parent, find some parents that you respect and ask them how in the world they raise such amazing kids.

As an employee, find someone that you respect in your profession and pick their brain on what has made them successful.

Spiritually, find someone that you consider strong in their faith and ask them how they have developed such a relationship with God.

Find someone that you look up to in any area and ask them to share their story and experiences with you so that you may learn from them.

Admittedly this can be awkward at first.  From my experience the people are extremely flattered that you would ask and would be glad to meet with you.  Worst case scenario, they say no and you've given them a compliment.  What could go wrong?

One word of advice, make sure you come prepared with specific questions.  You can write them down on a piece of paper or in your phone so you don't forget.  The last thing you want to do is meet with someone and say, "Ummmm, like, tell me stuff to help me."  It doesn't go well.

Here are my standard questions when I meet with someone that I am trying to learn from.  I always ask a variation of these 4 questions, plus a few more that are related to their specific expertise.

1. How do you balance being a spouse, parent, spiritual leader and excellent professional? 

2. How do you gain influence? 

3. What keeps you disciplined?

4. What were the most influential resources to get you to where you are? 

It may seem strange but feel free to take notes so that you can review this wealth of information anytime you want.  In writing this post I just reviewed some of my notes and was reminded of some great things I need to put into practice.

Along with developing Mentors, these same people also expressed the importance of developing a mentee.  It is equally as important to share your experiences and things you are learning with people that you see potential in.  

Who do you respect that you could contact this week to sit down and pick their brain?

Who do you see potential in that you can sit down and share some wisdom?

All leaders express the importance of mentors.  Do you have one?  Are you one?

How to Keep Your Resolutions

Many Americans will make Resolutions for 2013.  Few will keep them.  Our resolutions are always good in theory as they usually involve making our lives healthier, wealthier, and better in some form or fashion.  Nevertheless, we work towards them for a while and have usually given up by February or March.  There must be a better way and there definitely is.  I found a way to keep a vast majority of my resolutions for 2012.  Here is what worked for me in 2012.

1.  Be patient.  If you really want to take this seriously don't just randomly decide you want to do something.  Think about how you want to change your life for the better.  Think about it in the shower, on the toilet, driving in your car, laying in bed at night, and even set aside some time to just think.

2.  Don't call them resolutions.  I call them goals.  Call them plans, challenges, priorities, or anything else but resolutions.  People don't keep resolutions but they achieve goals, make plans, accept challenges...you get the point.

3.  Count your hats.   Not snapbacks and beanies.  Hats meaning all the roles that you play in your life. Yours will be different but here are 9 hats or roles that I use for the different areas of life:  Physical, Spiritual, Family, Husband, Father, Financial, Professional, Intellectual, and Personal.

4. Reflect.  As you think back on the year 2012, brutally evaluate yourself in each of these areas.  What went well?  What bombed?  What challenges did you face?  How can you improve?  What would you like to do differently?

5. Decide to be different.  After you've reflected, analyzed, and evaluated yourself in each area, decide how you would like to be different.  For me personally, I would like to be in better shape and health before my 30th birthday.  I would like my bank account to look differently.  I would like to be a better spiritual leader for my family.  Those are just a few.

6.  Find your WHY.  Each of these steps is important but I think this is where most people go wrong.  If you skip this step you don't have a reason to change.  Using my example, everyone would like to be in better shape and health.  But why?  For me, I want to feel better.  I want to have more energy to play with my son.  I want to be in shape to be able to better protect my family if necessary.  I don't want to buy new clothes because my current ones no longer fit.  Those are reasons.  Losing weight and eating better isn't attractive by itself.

7.  Develop a specific plan.  So you know what you want to do and you know why you want to do it.  How are you going to accomplish it?  How?  When?  Where?  With who? How often? With what?

My goal last year was not to lose weight, eat healthy, or get in better shape.  It was to complete the exercise program Insanity in the mornings.  I did it and I got the t-shirt!  Because of this, I did lose weight, eat healthy, and get in better shape because I had a specific plan of how, when, where, how often, and with what.

8.  Write it down.  As you write or type out your goals you'll be sealing them in your memory.  It will also allow you to do the next item on the list.

9.  Look at them often.  In order to keep them fresh on your mind, post them somewhere for you to see.  Bathroom mirror, inside your laptop, use them as a book mark, or do like my friend @chadmckamie and set them as a daily reminder on your phone so you see them every morning.

10.  Seek accountability.  There is power in saying your goals to a close friend or family member and asking them to remind you and encourage you of your goals throughout the year.

I hope this is helpful to you.  Again, this is what worked for me in 2012 as I achieved 13 of my 18 goals and I plan to use the same process for 2013.

Do you develop resolutions or goals?  How do you stick to them?

Love Doesn't Keep Score

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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As new parents, my wife and I change LOTS of diapers.  Approximately 100 diapers a week! Our son is a peeing machine and he absolutely hates wet diapers.  Whether they are dirty or just wet (more like drenched)  it is easy to want to keep score and think, I changed the last 5 so now it's your turn!

The same could be said for the washing of bottles.  I mean he only eats 6 bottles a day but it seems like bottle washing is never ending.  After a long day's work to come home to a sink filled with bottles I have to fight my first reaction of I just cleaned these bottles yesterday and the 37 days before that!  It's someone else's turn!

I forget.  I forget that Love doesn't keep score.  I forget that Love changes all the diapers in the world because I have the privilege of having a healthy child.  I forget that Love washes bottles every single time because it's to feed a healthy growing boy and help out an amazing Mom that produces the milk that goes in the bottles.

Love doesn't keep track of how many times you take the trash out, vacuum, fold laundry, cook dinner, or wash the car.  Love doesn't point out who makes more, works more, or does more.  Love just does.  Love helps.  Love serves without expecting anything in return.

It is very hard for me not to keep score but now I do it differently.  Now I play to win.  My wife doesn't know that we are playing but I try to see who can change the most diapers, who can wash the most bottles, and who can serve more.  Even though she doesn't know I'm keeping score or that we are even playing, she is still winning!  But in the grand scheme of things there is a lot of time left in the game so I predict a comeback!

Love never fails...we do.  Stop keeping score.  Love doesn't do that.  Make an effort to help and serve as much as you can without expecting anything in return.  



This is the sixth blog post in a series titled Love Never Fails.  This series is based on the premise that Love never fails but we as humans do.  If you haven't already please check out the previous 5 posts on Love by clicking on "Love Never Fails" on the left side of the screen or simply scroll down to view previous posts.  Although this is the sixth post in this series, this topic sparked the entire series.

"If I am elected President..."

"If I were the boss I would have done it differently."  

Have you ever said that or heard one of your peers say something like that?  It may not have been about something that made you mad, but you made the comment to someone, probably a peer, that you would do make different decisions if you were in charge.  I personally have a list of all the things I would do differently if I was elected President. (Even though I have no intention of ever applying for the hardest job in the world.)

 Or maybe you said about your boss (or the President), "They have forgotten what it is like to do what we do."

I first want to acknowledge that I think this can be a good thing.  You don't have to second guess your boss all the time but if you are wanting to move beyond your current position it is good practice to put yourself in their position and reflectively think about how you would handle certain situations.  This will help you remember for when you get there.  It is not good to tell everyone how your boss is wrong and how your ways are better.  Bad idea.

However, if you say to your peers that you would do things differently if and when you got a promotion and you actually get that promotion, you're going to look silly if you don't do things differently.

The reality is none of us know what we will do or how we will respond if we aren't actually in that position.  We can think and analyze and critique all we want but until we are actually THE person that has to make that decision, its different.

I originally intended to write this post to vent for a particular situation at work.  However, as I'm writing I'm reminded about a former post about DECISIONS.  That being said, when you do get that promotion and have the opportunity to make different decisions here are a few things to think about.

1.  Remember what it was like.  Whether you have been in this new position for a few months, a few years, or a few decades, find ways to remember what it was like to be in your previous position.  As a principal I have to remember what it was like to be a teacher, coach, and student.  As a manager you have to remember what it was like to be a assistant manager, crew chief, cashier, stocker, holiday help, etc.  As the top of the totem pole, you have to remember what it was like to be on the bottom and everywhere in between.

2.  Talk to the people it affects most.  As the leader a lot of your decisions directly affect others more than it affects you.  Talk to the people that your decision will impact most.  It would be best to ask them questions before and give them a heads up after. When appropriate provide them with strategies and resources to assist them in your decision.

3.  Be willing to take and own the criticism.  All decisions receive criticism.  Some fair but probably most of it is unfair.  Criticism happens for two reasons.  1.  Critics disagree.  2. Critics don't understand.  Sometimes you can explain your reasoning and you will have to agree to disagree.  Other times you may be able to explain yourself and help others better understand.  Either way, you made the decision so be prepared and willing to take the heat.

Until then, I'll pray for my boss and you pray for yours.  We may not know how stressful it is to be in their shoes.  Join me in praying for President Obama as he is the leader of our country.


What will you do when you become the boss?  How would you have written this post differently?

Love Is Patient

This is the second post in a series of blogs based on 1 Corinthians Chapter 13.  It is based on the premise that love never fails but we do.  The good news is that we are given a list of best practices on how to love so that we stop giving love a bad name.

"Love is patient, love is kind."

Are you patient?  When your husband gets home late from work or your wife is late getting dressed and ready do you display patience or annoyance?  When you are trying to teach your kids to be potty-trained, how to behave, or how to speak respectfully do you do so with patience or frustration?  When the line is long at Wal-Mart because the cashier is waiting on a price check, when traffic on I-35 is backed up because some selfish numskull decides to wait until the last minute to merge right even though there have been warning signs for miles, or when your students keep asking you the same questions even though you have already explained the instructions dozens of times, are you patient?

If not, that isn't love because love is patient.  Not only do our actions have to show it but our facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice must reflect that of patience in order to truly display love.

You might be thinking to yourself, I'm not trying to love the cashier at Wal-Mart or the crazy drivers on the constant work zone known as I-35.  I'm not going to play the Golden Rule card here but I will say that practice makes perfect.  The more opportunities you get to display patience, the more patient you will become and can be to those you love.

Kindness falls right in line with patience.  Chances are if you are patient you are also kind.  Inversely, unkind people are typically impatient people.  Kindness and patience go hand in hand and like patience, kindness shows up in facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.  Again, if you aren't displaying patience or kindness then you aren't displaying love.  You are failing in love and love is getting a bad name.

Here are a few tips that have helped me become more patient.  *Disclaimer:  These tips only work if you actually try them.

1. Ask multiple close friends, family, and co-workers if people would consider you to be an impatient person.  (If you don't like their answer, use this as an opportunity to display patience.)

2. Pray and ask God for opportunities to practice being patient.  (You will get plenty of them.)

3. When sensing the urge to become impatient, think of something that this situation is making possible.      Example...Traffic can mean more quality time with family, ability to make some phone calls (hands free of course), time to jam out to some tunes or enjoy an audiobook.

4. Ask your friends, family, or co-workers to kindly tell you when you are becoming impatient so you can develop new habits.

5. Enjoy some quiet with no distractions.  Practice patience for 10 minutes on your porch, in your car at lunch, or in your favorite chair without technology, people, or other distractions.

6.  Comment on others when you see them displaying patience to remind you of the habit you want to develop.

Love never fails...we do.  We cannot truly and correctly love if we choose not to be patient.  The only way for us to get better at loving is by practicing love and all of its characteristics.  Practice patience and begin to thrive in the area of love.

If this post challenged you in the area of patience or you think it would be helpful for someone else to read, please like it or share it on facebook or retweet on Twitter.  Thanks!

How have you learned to grow in the areas of patience and kindness?

Love Never Fails

This is one of the most popular scriptures in the Bible. I think people like it because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.  All or parts of this scripture can be heard in wedding ceremonies, seen in home decor, found all over Pinterest, and even tattooed on some folks.  

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor other, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I hate to be the one that brings this up but love fails all the time.  Just ask nearly half of the people that hear that scripture at their wedding only to end up in divorce.  Ask anyone that has experienced heartbreak for one reason or another and they will certainly tell you that love does in fact fail.  Find anyone that is lonely, depressed, unforgiven, outcast, or oppressed and ask them if love ever fails.  I can speak from past experience of not being able to eat or sleep because love failed.

So what's the problem?  If the Bible says that love never fails and the Beatles say that all you need is love then how does love keep messing up?

Well, it doesn't.  Love doesn't mess up.  We do.  Love can't be right or wrong as it has no ability to make decisions.  Just like Bon Jovi said, "you (and I) give love a bad name."  Love isn't impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, dishonoring, or selfish.  But you and I can be.  Love doesn't get mad easily, keep record of wrongs, or delight in evil.  But you and I can do those things without even thinking about it due to our human nature.  In this case, it would be appropriate to be mad at the messenger because the message of love has never changed.

We need to stop putting the blame on love and start taking responsibility for our actions.  In the paraphrased words of Clint Black, "Love isn't something that we're in or a place that we fall.  Love is something that we do."  You "fell" in love because you put forth effort to pursue your mate.  You "fell" out of love because the newness wore off and you stopped pursuing them and made efforts elsewhere.   Love is simply an innocent bystander.

Well if love is something that we do, then how do we do it?  That is a great question and the answer can be found right there in the scripture.  Scroll back up and read it again.

In an attempt to help husbands, wives, friends, and families better love each other I would like to write a series of posts with some practical ways to display love based on the biblical principles in 1 Corinthians 13.  If you find it helpful, please like it on Facebook, retweet it on Twitter, or share it however you like.

Love never fails...we do!

5 Parts of a Great Date

How often do you and your wife go on a date?  With a typical busy American schedule these days I would guess not enough.  Well your schedule isn't going to open up anytime soon so you're going to need to schedule a date and quit waiting for an open evening.  If its been too long, here are the 5 simple steps to planning a date with your wife. 

1.  Research.  You must know your wife.  You have to know what she wants, likes, needs, etc.  Does she like surprises?  Does she need to know ahead of time?  Does she like to dress up or keep it casual?  Does she new experiences or old favorites?  These are all things that you need to learn, relearn, and continue to learn as you pursue her.  Research also includes date, time, childcare, transportation, cost, payment, etc...

2. The Ask. So you've decided on a cool, fun, romantic, date idea.  Great. Now take it to the next level by asking her on a date in a cool, unique, fun, romantic way.  Write a poem or a love note.  Make an invitation.  Leave a note on her mirror, drawer, or pillow.  Hand deliver a hand made card with a sonic drink at work.  Whatever it is, ask her in a way that you do not normally communicate. 

3. The Main Course.  Basically every date revolves around a meal.  This could be breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Whatever works best for HER schedule. Saturday morning brunch can be just as romantic as Friday night dinner.  The main course also means meaningful conversation.  The best way to have meaningful conversation is to listen more than you talk.  The best way to listen more than you talk is by asking open ended questions.  Here are a few questions that I dare you to ask:  What do you like most about work?  What challenges are you facing at work?  How can I pray for you this week?  Has God been teaching you anything lately?  What are some ways that I can better serve you?  Who have been some spiritual mentors in your life?  What is one way you think I can improve as a father/husband?  As you can see, these questions are meaningful and you better be prepared for the answers.  Your goal is not to justify your actions but to gather information.  Take notes if you need to.

4.  The Activity. All dates should also include doing something other than eating.  The best is a walk in the park, lake, or scenic area.  It could be something she likes to do, has always wanted to do, or has talked about doing.  It should NOT be a movie, play, or other form of entertainment that doesn't allow talking unless you do something after. 

5. The End. The end of the date is equally as important as the beginning.  Recap how you liked spending quality time with her and specifically what you enjoyed about the date.  Take a moment to ask her out again and schedule another date within the next 2 weeks so you will have something to look forward to.  If you want to improve your marriage you are going to have to actively pursue your wife!!!



Whatever you decide to do, Be intentional.  Your date does not have to be fancy or cost a lot of money but it does need to be well thought out.  It is perfectly acceptable to be cheesy.  Ask her in a love note or poem.  Plan a 3 course meal at 3 different locations.  Make her an invitation.  Go on a picnic.  Have a theme.  Whatever it is, it can't be what you normally do.

There are billions of ideas online by simply googling date night ideas but the best ones are the ones that you create. 

Here is a link to a short article about how to talk to your wife on a date. Questions for your wife. 

The time you normally spend on Facebook, checking box scores, reading the news, playing Solitaire or Temple Run, or however your normally waste those short moments of down time, needs to be spent figuring out how you're going to sweep her off of her feet.

No Distractions

This past spring break my wife and I took a trip to Sedona, AZ.  It was just what we needed.  The unique beauty of Sedona is unlike anything I have ever seen.

The place that we stayed was outside of the city and down in a valley.  Because of this we did not have cell phone reception.  Okay.  We can do this.  It's only for a week.  We got to our room and realized that we do not have wifi either. 

So here we are.  No cellphone.  No reception.  No internet.  No Twitter.  No Facebook.  Not to mention, we gave up watching TV for Lent.

It was weird.  It's weird not having distractions.  We were so used to being distracted that we were distracted by not having distractions.  We did go to a local coffee shop one day for some wifi but this was more like a scheduled distraction.

As it turns out, we enjoyed not being able to check our phones and constantly be distracted.  We were able to read, talk, create, explore, exercise, relax, and so much more.  I think we may try disconnecting while we are at home to see if it still feels the same.

As a leader, regardless of your capacity, make sure that you allow people the time to disconnect, get away and relax.  As the leader of your family, make sure to schedule it.  As the leader of an organization, make sure to allow your employees to schedule.  It will be worth it in the long run.

Vision & The Grand Canyon

My wife and I recently visited Arizona for our "babymoon."  I think its a new word.  It's like a honeymoon which is a trip with your spouse right before your marriage begins only this is a trip right before parenting begins.  We stayed in Sedona, AZ but took a day trip to the Grand Canyon. 

When we told people we were going to Arizona and mentioned the Grand Canyon, we got one of two responses from dozens of people that had previously visited.  The 2 responses were:


1. The Grand Canyon is breathtaking!  It is a spiritual experience that gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes!  You are absolutely going to love it!  It is an amazing experience!

2.  It's cool but pretty much just a big hole in the ground.

My experience is definitely like the first response.  Saying the Grand Canyon is just a big hole in the ground is like saying the ocean is just a bunch of water.  It is unbelievable!   It stretches as far as the eye can see.  I do not even have words the describe its unique beauty.  It is something that you just have to experience to understand.

But then again, people have experienced it and thought it was just a big hole in the ground.

I think this is a lesson for anyone with a vision.  Here are 3 examples:

My wife has a vision for making young women feel confident that their beauty is found in the Lord.  She believes in this so much that she created beautiful bracelets that simply say "You're Beautiful" Psalms 45:11. (The KING is enthralled by your Beauty.)  When asked, Katy speaks to groups of young women and over 2,000 of them have a beautiful bracelet to serve as a reminder that their beauty is not defined by what they see on TV, billboards, or magazines but what they see in the mirror, God's Masterpiece. 

However, when others see these beautiful bracelets, they see a light blue accessory made of silicone to decorate their wrist.

Steve Jobs and others from Apple had a vision for a device that would serve as a mp3 player, internet device, phone, and so much more.  The iPhone now also serves as a camera, GPS, gaming device, calendar, and so much more. (In my opinion the greatest invention of our time.)

Yet when some see this revolutionary device, they simply see an overpriced phone that is complicated to work.


Craig Groeschel and his core team started Lifechurch.tv over 15 years ago with a desire to lead people to become fully devoted followers of Christ.  What started in a garage now impacts over 30,000 people in over 15 video campuses around the U.S.,  inspires countless people via Church Online, and touches literally millions of lives with youversion.com, the free Bible app for smartphones and internet users.

Yet when some see this influential church that constantly looks for new ways to share the gospel, they see a weird TV church that breaks traditions.

The same can be said for all schools, churches, families, organizations, artists, and anything specifically created by someone with a vision.  Some people see it.  Some people don't. 

There are at least 3 takeaways here:

1.  Stand Firm.  People may not always see what you see.  And that is okay and completely normal.  Don't let that take away from the seriousness of your vision.  Just imagine if Steve Jobs would have listened to the people that said a device like the iPhone could not be done, if Craig Groeschel would have listened to the critics of a multi-site church, or if Katy would have listened to the people that told her that the world doesn't need another silicone bracelet. 

2.  Encourage vision.  There will be plenty of times when you simply don't see what other people see.  Again, perfectly normal.  Make sure you are not someone who tells them all the reasons why their vision can't and won't work.  Unless it goes against your moral beliefs, find a way that you can encourage them in pursuit of their vision.

3.  Form your own opinion.  I could have listened to the people who said it was just a big hole in the ground and not driven an extra 5 hours to see the Grand Canyon.  Boy am I glad I chose to see for myself. 


What is your vision?  Do others see what you see?

What Do You Reward?

What gets rewarded gets repeated.  

I don't know the official author of that quote but I heard it in one of Andy Stanley's Leadership Podcasts so I will give the credit to him.  (By the way, if you're remotely interested in leadership this podcast is the best in the business.)

This is true at work as bosses reward their employees for meeting or exceeding expectations.
This is true in the classroom as teachers reward students for exceptional work and behavior.
This is true at home as parents reward their children for obedience and responsibility.

Unfortunately it has become much easier for us to punish for the poor outcomes, behavior, disobedience, and irresponsibility.  Don't get me wrong, there is certainly a place for punishment, reprimanding, and discipline but the problem arises when we focus on the wrong things more than we focus on the right things. 

What gets rewarded gets repeated. 

Rewarding doesn't have to mean giving people lots of money, trips, benefits, or awards (although if you have the ability it would be nice.)  Rewarding can simply mean acknowledging met or exceeded expectations.  This can be done with a sincere thank you, public or private recognition, words of encouragement, or other creative ideas.


What gets rewarded gets repeated.  What are you going to reward today?

What do you see?

What you see in yourself is what you see in the world.

I ran across this old proverb this past week and it really made me think.  As someone who deals with students and adults on a regular basis, this proverb could not be more true.

I see students who are mad at the world and believe the world is mad at them.  Could it be that what they are really mad at is themselves?

I see teachers and parents who believe their students are lazy and unsuccessful.  Could it be that they are actually frustrated at their own laziness and unhappy where they are in their own career and life?

I see people of all ages who are so negative and are constantly looking for the worst in everything.  Could it be that they have been conditioned to only see the worst in themselves?

Let's try this from a different perspective.


What you see in yourself is what you see in the world.

I ran across this old proverb this past week and it really made me think.  As someone who deals with students and adults on a regular basis, this proverb could not be more true.

I see students who are so joyful on a daily basis and believe that the world was made for them to conquer.  Could it be that what they really see is an opportunity to make a difference in the world.

I see teachers and parents who believe their students are talented and destined for greatness.  Could it be that they believe that they are also talented and destined for greatness?

I see people of all ages who are so positive and constantly looking for the best in everything.  Could it be that they see have been conditioned to see the best in themselves and believe in their abilities.

What you see in yourself is what you see in the world.  What do you see? 

The Power of Information

In the connected world we live in today, those with information have power.  Some people feel the more information they have, the more power they have and the more information they share, the even more power they have.  You can easily find this to be true on any local or national news station, facebook, Twitter, the local barber or beauty shop, the lounge at work and unfortunately even the lobby at church.  Even if they only have tidbits of information that may or may not be true, they want to be the first to share any info to display their power.

I believe the concept of information equating to power is true in many ways.

Those that have and share negative information have the power to discourage, power to spread fear and anxiety, power to disgrace, the power to spoil, and the power to hurt.

What many fail to realize is that there is also power in keeping your mouth shut.  The more negative or inaccurate information someone shares, the more gossip someone spreads, the more power, trust, and credibility they lose.

The opposite is true for those with positive, uplifting information.

Those that have and share positive information have the power to influence, power to encourage, power to teach and train, the power to bless and the power to spread positivity.

What many fail to realize is that when it comes to positive information, there is no power in keeping your mouth shut.  When choosing to keep positive information to ourselves, we lose the power to influence, encourage, praise, uplift, and bless.  Take the Penn State scandal for example, sometimes keeping your mouth shut can cost you your job and worse, allow crimes to happen and continue.

Let's use our power to encourage, uplift, and bless by spreading positive information like wildfire every opportunity we get.  Let's gain and keep our power by keeping our mouth shut when it comes to negative information.

I challenge you to share positive information, hold back negative information, and prayerfully seek God's guidance so that you will know the difference.

Go Away!

My Baby Momma :)

As of this week Katy has been with child for 17 weeks.  Either her nausea is improving or she is learning to deal with it better.  Probably a little bit of both.  She is beginning to show in most of her clothes.  The more she begins to show, the more I am beginning to understand the reality of what is about to happen.

We are in the stage of our life where lots of our friends and family are having children.  In fact, within the past year, over 10 of our closest friends and family have had or will have a baby!  That is absurd.  Thankfully, we are able to ask them questions, observe, learn, and figure out how to best enjoy the next 5 months before Baby Bradley makes his/her grand entrance.  Most of the time, without even having to ask, new parents will tell you, "Enjoy your time while you can because once your baby arrives you don't have any more free time for the two of you."  Now I like challenges so I'm all about trying to figure out ways to have free time once our child arrives.  But for now, we are taking their collective advice and enjoying our time together while we can.  

Over the next few months, I have planned a few trips for Katy and I.  They are not outlandish, expensive, fancy, or even long.  The purpose of these trips is to get away, relax, make memories, and simply spend time together.  We are currently in Hot Springs, AR and have barely left our room.  We have been reading, playing games, working a puzzle, talking about our future, listening to parenting podcasts, walking around in nature, exploring downtown, drinking the famous spring water, etc.  Just enjoying our time together.  

Some might think, "I can do all of those things at home.  Why spend the gas and room money?"  Valid question.  I can only answer for us, but when we are at home there is always something else that we can do to keep us from fully enjoying our time together such as laundry, cleaning, home improvement, work, etc.  Although it is possible to relax at home, there is something extra-relaxing about getting away.  It doesn't have to be a beach, a mountain, a major city, or a cruise.  It doesn't have to be expensive (comparatively speaking...we brought our own food, entertainment, and only brought sweats, t-shirts, and hoodies to deter us from going to nice places).  The only requirement is to be away from distractions.  

As I said earlier, the more Katy's "baby bump" begins to show, the more I realize what is about to unfold.  As an expecting father, there isn't much I can do to directly help develop my child at this point.   What I can do is serve Katy by providing opportunities for us to deepen our relationship and strengthen our marriage so that when our world is turned upside down our foundation is extremely solid and we are as prepared as possible.  Husbands, as the leader of your family, purposely save up some money, strategically take a few days off, and make it a priority to get away with your wife to deepen your relationship and strengthen your marriage.

Although we haven't had a baby to be able to officially give the advice to others, after 2 nights I must say that this was an extremely wonderful decision.  Thank you to everyone who gave the advice of enjoying time together as a couple while we still can...or at least while it's easier.  

The Next Level

Coffee & Pop & POP's

 A few weeks ago I took my wife on an adventure.  I know my wife and I know she likes surprises.  I told her what to pack and when we were leaving.  We woke up, got ready, jumped in the car, and headed toward our destination.  After a few miles I informed her that we were going on a Route 66 Adventure: Experience 66 things on Route 66. 

We stopped at many landmarks, visited historic places, took random pictures, drove through clouds, had great conversations, stayed in a Mansion, ate a gourmet French breakfast, enjoyed local sushi & coffee, got a massage, bought something from a garage sale, visited 2 college campuses, had a quick visit with an old friend, and so much more.

I do not share this with you to boast, but to share with you the art of taking a date to the next level.  Here is what I mean...

Round Barn in Arcadia

Like you, my wife and I have a pretty packed schedule and we could always use some time away.   Fortunately, we live in the education world so we are able to enjoy a fall break.  We had about 36 hours to have fun, relax, and recharge so we couldn't go too far and didn't want to spend much money.  About a month before, I saw a Groupon for a Bed & Breakfast in Tulsa.  It was for a one night stay at the Kennedy Mansion, a couples massage, and a gourmet breakfast.  It was relatively close, reasonably priced, and had the potential of being relaxing and fun so I booked it.

Local Coffee House Favorites

Now this is where most people stop.  They say, "Hey Honey, lets go stay
at a B&B in Tulsa this weekend."  And that would be okay.  If it stopped right here it would be good.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with this you would probably agree that sweet things like this need to happen more often.  However, my college baseball coach, Coach Myers, frequently told us that "Good is the enemy of Great."  So I asked myself, "How can I take a good weekend getaway to the next level and make it a great adventure?"


1.  Know your date. This is the most important aspect.  Whether you have been dating for a month or 30 years, know what they like and don't like.  Listen to what they have been wanting to do.  Make sure this is current because they may have liked it 2, 10, 25 years ago doesn't mean they still do.  I know my wife and I know she likes surprises, road trips, and experiencing new things.

2.  Ask Next Level Questions.  What would make this date better?  You have a destination.  Can you change how to get there?  What is around the destination that you can incorporate into the date?  How much time do you have to spend before or after?  For me it was... "What if we took Route 66 from OKC to Tulsa?  It would take longer but we could stop and take a picture of all the historic landmarks that helped make this area famous.  We can't check in until 3pm so what if we not only visited Route 66 but also famous places in Tulsa as well?  What if we did 66 things on Route 66?  We both like sushi and coffee so what if we visited some of the unique places in Tulsa? I don't have time to come up with 66 things so instead of crossing off 66 things what if we simply experienced 66 things on Route 66 and created our own list and adventure?"

The Golden Driller

3.  Build Excitement.  You have to tell them what you're doing without telling them what you're doing.  For example, I asked my wife about 2 weeks in advance to block out her schedule for an adventure.  Of course she asked questions, but I asked her to trust me.  As it got closer to time I made a packing list, answered any questions I could about clothing, activities, etc so she would not stress.  This is much different from a total surprise of telling them the day before or even day of.  The excitement becomes overshadowed by worrying about this, thinking about that, what to wear, what to pack, etc... if you don't give parameters.


4.  Reveal With Enthusiasm.  There is something to be learned from Extreme Home Makeover.  They don't just make over a home and have the family pull up in the driveway and say "Hey we fixed your home up nice."  The crowd is gathering, excitement is building, the bus is blocking their view, and then everyone screams "MOVE THAT BUS!"  They cry, jump up and down, and hug whoever is closest.  I pulled up a YouTube video of the old song "Get your kicks on Route 66" and played it as a hint.  She guessed a few things and then told her with excitement that we were going to get our kicks by experiencing 66 things on a Route 66 adventure!!  


5.  Be Confident - Sometimes you can't help but be cheesy, sappy, and goofy.  Just admit it, accept it, and go with it.  It is better to be sappy and cheesy in an attempt to be sweet than to not attempt to be sweet.  Plus, worrying about what people think is a gigantic waste of time. 

Praying Hands at ORU in Tulsa

6.  Be Flexible - Things are not always going to go as planned.  You're going to have to keep your eyes open and be ready to call an audible.  Sometimes it will be a complete bomb; just admit it and redeem yourself next time.  Other times it will go 1,000 times better than you ever expected.  For example, Katy and I went to Oral Roberts University to go to the prayer tower.  It didn't open for another hour.  This could have been tragic.  It was something that I really wanted to do.  Rather than being ticked off and pouting all day, I called an audible and we walked around campus and ate lunch in a cafe on campus.  We ended up meeting a Resident Director (same job as Katy) and she had a wonderful conversation with someone from her field at a different college, which rarely happens. 

The great thing about taking a date to the next level is that it is relatively free!  Going from staying at a Bed & Breakfast to going on a Route 66 Adventure only cost a little more gas mileage.    It's not like we bought expensive tickets to a fantastic show or concert, went to a fancy, pricy restaurant, or even went to an over priced movie.  All we did was think, observe, and experience. 

Blue Whale in Catoosa

The next time you take someone on a date, spend a few moments to take it to the next level!

What If We...

I had the privilege of hearing @BobGoff speak today.  It was INCREDIBLE!  I must say I have never heard or met anyone quite like him.

One of the main topics of discussion was the concept of "What if we...".  The process of thinking about how cool it might be to do something and then actually do it!!  If it works, great!  If not, think of something else and do that.

I began to think about this concept and had a few ideas come to mind.  Then I began to think of how many times this phrase must have been said.  Someone once said, "What if we..."

...send someone to the moon?
...combine a phone, mp3 player, and web browser?
...had one church with multiple locations via satellite video?
...abolished slavery?
...declared our independence?
...made a blanket with sleeves?
...started a beautiful campaign?
...allowed women the right to vote?
...gave a pair of shoes away every time someone bought one?

Finish this sentence:  "What if we..."