Letting Your Child Fall

Our 8 month old son Beau is EVERYWHERE!  He is crawling, rolling, and pulling up to everything that he is able to...even the toilet.  If we take our eyes off of him for a few seconds he is in, on, or under something, or in a different room.  He is quite the adventurer and has scratches, bumps, bruises, and black eyes to prove it.

Because of his curiosity and desire to explore, we know that he is going to get hurt.  As we watch him pull up on something we have a pretty good idea if he is going to fall or not.  Sometimes we catch him and redirect him but sometimes we let him fall.  It hurts us to watch him fall, get hurt, and cry but it is a part of the learning and growing process.  As hard as it is to watch him hurt, it brings is joy to watch him learn from his hurts and make better decisions the next time.  Even at 8 months he is learning from his mistakes.  

As new parents, we are trying to find the balance between protecting him and letting him learn from his experiences.  We haven't found a specific formula for knowing when to help and when to let him fall, just playing it by ear and open to ideas.  

As I process this concept, I can't help but think that this is the same thing that God goes through with us.  He is watching us and has more than just a pretty good idea if we are going to fall or not.  Sometimes He catches and redirects us and sometimes He lets us fall.  And as much as it pains Him to watch us, it brings Him joy to watch us learn and grow and make better decisions the next time.  

This has helped me understand the concept of how God could "allow" bad things to happen in the world.  More than ever, I'm thankful for the times that God chose not to catch or redirect me away from pain, hurt, and heartbreak.  I wouldn't be where I am today without that learning and growing in times of hurt.  And while my wife and I are still finding the balance between knowing when to help our son and when to let him fall, we will definitely be there to encourage, hold, hug, and love him unconditionally throughout the entire process.

Bumps & Bruises

I'm learning a lot from my six month old son.  He has recently learned to move from one place to another.  Whether it be an army crawl, real crawl, or series of rolls he can get wherever he wants to go. He rarely likes to be out in the open.  Beau can usually be found under a table or chair, climbing up and over boxes, and if he is on the bed or couch he quickly finds his way to the edge.

I've noticed that my six month old son is FEARLESS!  If we would let him, Beau would do some pretty dangerous stuff without even thinking about it.  He hasn't learned what it means to play it safe.  He doesn't weigh the pros and cons.  His what ifs look different than mine.  Rather than what if I fall he thinks what if I get on top of the coffee table?  It's not what if I hit my head it's what if I find out whats on the other side of this couch/bed/box.

As adults our what ifs slowly begin to change and we quickly begin to play it safe.  There is good to that and I know my wife and I need to teach our son how to be safe and not get hurt.  But hopefully not at the expense of creating fear.  Not at the expense of losing curiosity.  There has to be a way to balance safety and adventure.

The truth is sometimes Beau falls over and bumps his head and he cries.  Sometimes he gets stuck and gets frustrated.  And sometimes he gets hurt and sometimes he cries but that is how you and I learn.

Maybe I need to worry less about experiencing pain and more about learning to live life.  There will be bumps and bruises of all kinds.  But with each pain there is a story.  There is an adventure.  There is learning and growing.  And most importantly there is life.

Beau, you and I have a lot more learning to do with each other.  Here's to living and learning!

The Importance of Core

I recently had surgery to have my gallbladder removed.  It was something that had bothered me off and on for about 7 years.  So far my surgery and the recovery has been a really positive experience.  The outpatient surgery was laprascopic with no major incisions.   Just 4 little holes around my abdomen.

During the first few days of recovery, I never realized how much I actually use your abdominal muscles throughout the day.  Obviously I knew sitting up out of bed would be difficult.  What I didn't know is how much you actually use your abs when you wash dishes, open and close doors, get dressed, pick up your child, laugh, open jars, put on your seat belt, etc...  You use your core for everything!!

I was reminded that if my core is weak, my whole body is weak.  This isn't necessarily true of other parts of the body.  If my arm or leg is weak, I can usually compensate by making another part of my body stronger.  But if my core is weak, I am weak.

So as I heal and recover, I am reminded of how important it is to gain strength in my core before I strengthen other parts of my body.

As I think about it the same is also true in my personal life.  My core is my relationships with God, my family, my health, and my finances.  If all of those are strong, I am usually strong in the other areas of my life including work, friends, recreation, etc.  However, if there is stress in one or more of my core areas then there is usually stress in all other areas. 

So as I heal and recover my physical core, I must also continue to strengthen the core areas of my life.

What are the core areas of your life?  How are they?  How do you continue to strengthen them?  

Top Books of 2012

2012 was a great year!  Possibly the best this far for my wife and I. We had our first baby, celebrated our 5 year anniversary, took random road trips to Hot Springs, AR, the Grand Canyon,  Sedona, AZ, and a couple of Bed & Breakfasts here in Oklahoma.  We bought and renovated our future home although we are sticking to campus life for now.  It's been a wonderful year!

Due to all of these great adventures, one of the things I've slacked on this year is reading.  I never thought it possible but I have become an avid reader.  Thats pretty big considering I do not recall ever reading an entire book until I graduated college!!  Since then I don't know how many I've read because counting seems silly but I am usually excited about finishing a book so that I can start another.

Of the few books I made time to read this year, these were the most influential.  They changed the way I think and in turn changed my life.  I'm sharing them with you in hopes that your life may be influenced should you choose to read them.

Here are MY top 10 books of 2012! :)

Life
Love Does by Bob Goff - This book is a collection of the author's personal stories about learning to engage in your life.  It challenged me to focus less on planning my life and more on living it.  After you read this book you'll feel like Bob is one of your best friends who encourages you to not just love with your words but with your hands and feet.  Be ready to look at your life, your job, your family, and everything else differently.

You may also like A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller.

Parenting
Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo - When we asked for advice on parenting a lot of people we admire as parents recommend that we read Baby Wise.  We read it and immediately put it into practice.  It gives specific steps on how to put your baby on a schedule and get them to sleep through the night.  We do not follow it to a 'T' but we do use the basic foundations and have been pleased.  Definitely the most helpful book on parenting we have read thus far.

I will also note that there are quite a few parents out there that are not fans of Baby Wise and its methods.  It didn't work for them or their kids for one reason or another.  I can only speak of my experience which has been a amazing one.  If you have a newborn or are about to, I recommend that you at least give it a shot.

You may also like The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp.

Spiritual
The Resolution For Men by Kendrick & Alcorn - If you are interested on learning how to become a better husband or father then this book is for you.  This book will challenge you in multiple ways and is filled with tons of practical ideas to help you in multiple areas.  It is bold.  If you're not interested in becoming a better man you will be offended.

You may also like The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley.

Leadership
Visioneering by Andy Stanley - If you are looking for a leadership book that will also challenge you spiritually, this is the book for you.  According to Stanley, visioneering is painting a clear mental picture of what could be, fueled by the conviction that it should be If you are the leader of your home, school, work, church, or community, this book will help you develop and strengthen your vision.

You may also like The Next Generation Leader by Andy Stanley.

Financial
The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach - Ok so I technically didn't read this in 2012.  It was actually one of the first financial books I read in 2006 and has served as the foundation for how I handle my personal finances.  I would not be as financially stable if it were not for this book.  I recommend it for everyone, especially those just starting in the real world.  I only read one financial book this year called The Cheapskate Next Door.  Although boring, it was filled with some good ideas, most of which are outlined in The Automatic Millionaire anyway.

You may also like The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.

These 5 books have changed my life for the better.  I believe in them so much that I got a copy for all of my blog readers!!  Rather than mailing them to you, I left them at your local library so feel free to pick one or all of them up anytime....for free!!

You may be turned off by the fact that there isn't any fiction on this list.  Nothing against fiction books, I just don't get into them because it is hard for me to learn from them.  Change only comes with new information.  Take the time to read up on some new information in 2013!

What were your favorite books of 2012?  Leave them in the comments below or post it on facebook or twitter!

God With Us

Sometimes God shows up in different forms and locations.  Today we celebrate the moment when God showed up as a new born baby over 2000 years ago. Today he also showed up on the side of a major highway, in 26 degree weather with freezing rain.

On the way back home to OKC we got a flat tire.  I pulled off to the side of the road and got all of the luggage and presents out of the trunk in order to get to the spare tire.  It wasn't long before I realized that I didn't have a tire iron needed to change the tire!  Not a good feeling on Christmas day on the side of the road with freezing rain and a 5 month old in the car.  The next thing I know a big truck from the Department of Transportation pulled over to see if we needed help.  They hooked me up with their tire iron and helped me take the wheel off.  As I began to jack up the car I realized that the tire iron was actually hidden in the jack.  The guys saw that I had what I needed and were on their merry way.  

A minute or two later another truck pulled over to see if I needed any help.  It was just a man named Jesse and his son Gavin wanting to help someone on Christmas day.  They walked up and took over.  Maybe they could tell that I wasn't confident in my abilities or perhaps they just wanted to be a blessing.  They certainly were!

You can call it coincidence, good fortune, or luck.  But luck and fortune rarely show up when you're on the side of the road on Christmas day in inclement weather.  God speaks and moves and works all the time in many different ways.  What I realized today is that I rarely notice how much God speaks and moves until I'm in a bind.  And it doesn't matter to God if the need is big or small.  God is with us.

To finish up our story, the roads were getting slick and we didn't want to risk driving with a donut.  No tire places were open as it was Christmas so we decided we would play it safe and check into a hotel.  

So here we are at the Hampton Inn in Shawnee, OK.  No car to unload.  No laundry to do.  No house to clean.  No meals to cook.  No dishes to wash.  No projects.  No to-do list.  Just secluded in a hotel room with my wife and sweet baby boy.  Napping, watching a Christmas Story, eating at the IHOP next door, and making a wonderful Christmas memory as a family.

Perhaps a flat tire in the freezing rain and staying in a hotel room on Christmas Day could be just what I needed as a reminder that God is with me.  It is also a reminder that God answers prayers, but not always how we think He should.  Katy prayed for a safe trip as we left home.  Despite the extreme inconvenience of a flat tire in inclement weather, we are safe and never felt like we were in any danger.  God is constantly with us!

Merry Christmas to you!

May you be reminded of the many ways that God is with you and may you be changed because of it!

Good Prevails!

By now everyone has heard of the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut.  A man killed 26 students and educators at an elementary school.  You can learn more about it on any local news station or news website.  This tragedy has sparked a lot of thoughts and reflection.  Here are some of mine.

Evil exists.  There is evil in the world.  I can't think of an act more evil than killing innocent children. Some will blame the school.  Others will blame the parents of the shooter.  Some are already calling for more gun control.  Fingers will be pointed at video games and violent media.  All of these may be contributing factors but only evil actually goes through with something this...well...evil.

I can't always protect my family from evil.  As a husband and father I consider it my duty and pleasure to protect my family.  I will always do my best but I can't physically be there 24/7 and you don't always know when evil is going to show up.  I am learning that there is a lot I must put in God's hands and simply trust and obey.

Good prevails.  The news will continue to cover this tragedy and all of the sadness that goes along with it.  Newscasters and even President Obama fought back tears as they covered this story and gave speeches.  What you may not see is the millions of children that were held closer and tighter this weekend.  Parents realizing that in the midst of their busy schedules they need to carve out more time to spend with their children.  

I have no intention of making light of this devastating situation and I do not have an explanation or answers.  26 families are experiencing unfathomable loss and a community is broken and hurting.  Yet at the same time millions of families across the nation and possibly the world will become closer because of this tragedy.  My hope is that each parent that hears of this tragedy will be reminded of the preciousness of life and cherish each moment with their children.  My hope is that children will feel more loved starting this weekend than they have in their entire lives and it will carry on and even grow for years to come.  My hope is that friends, families, community organizations, and churches will join together and support one another during this extreme time of need.  

If you don't live in or around Newtown, Connecticut, there may not be able to directly help in this situation.  I've never met any of the families and don't even know their names.  But I bet if we were to ask the families of those that lost loved ones how we can help, my guess is their answers would look something like this.

Be present with your kids.  Attend their games, concerts, and recitals.  Eat dinner around the table as a family.  Schedule one day each week to wake up a little early and take them out to breakfast.  Ask them about their day and actually make them tell you.

Watch less TV and go to the local park or play some board games.  Tuck your kids in at night and pray for them and with them.  Tell them how much you love them and how proud you are of them.  Hug them tightly and frequently because you never know when it could be the last time.

I don't think their first comments would surround gun control, school safety or media violence.  I think they would say the best way we can help is to be present with our children, love them unconditionally, appreciate their unique gifts, and cherish each and every moment.  

Evil exists.  It just does and we can't always protect our families from it.  But as long as we love unconditionally, lean on one another, support our neighbor, pray for our enemies and their families, and learn from tragedy good will always prevail.  

I pray that this tragedy changes millions of people for the better and causes millions of families to re-prioritize what is most important in their lives.

How will your family be different after this tragedy?

6 Thoughts On Being A New Dad

Today is Beau Bradley's 3 month birthday!  What an amazing adventure it has been so far.  He has nearly doubled his weight, gone through over 1,300 diapers (seriously...we are keeping track), peed and pooped all over multiple people (sorry about that), grown out of dozens of clothes, found his hands, rolled over, cried himself to sleep, figured out how to talk (aka make random noises), and smiles at anyone who will talk to him.  I must admit that it's been much more enjoyable than I expected.

People often ask me what I think about being a Dad.  It is one of those questions that I have so many answers to that I often don't know which one to pick, causing me to simply answer, "Its good."  So let me pick a few.

Here are 6 answers to the question, "Hey Brett, what it's like being a Dad?"

1. I'm enjoying it earlier than I expected.  Don't get me wrong, I knew I would enjoy fatherhood but I didn't think I really would until Beau was able to walk and talk.  To my surprise, we have already learned how to communicate with each other and even though we can't run around and play catch we still have fun and play together everyday.  (Mostly just making faces and noises, rolling around on my chest, playing tug of war, and trying to make him laugh.)

2. It's expensive.  After you get past the hospital bills, you pretty much get nickeled and dimed (and sometimes "Benjamined") on a weekly basis.  Diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes, safety stuff, and toys add up very quickly.  Formula is ridiculously expensive!  When it comes to minor medical supplies just know that if its for a baby its probably double the price for less than half of the product.  Borrow, share, and use hand me downs as much as you can!

3. It's exhausting.  When I am home alone with Beau I thought I would be able to just sit him next to me while I read or do some work on my computer.  Wrong!  I've learned even 3 month old babies rarely just sit there and do nothing.  And in the moments that they do, you have to clean and fill the bottles, take out the never ending trash, restock diapers and wipes, or just sit and take a break!  Not to mention all the other stuff that my wife does like the laundry, food production, cleaning, and countless things that I don't even know about.  Being a parent is a constant job and I'm so thankful for the greatest tag-team partner in my wife Katy.

4. It has caused me to reevaluate and re-prioritize.   There are so many things that I used to do that I don't do anymore.  For example, I was pretty social media savvy using facebook and Twitter on the regular.  I may go days or even weeks without checking them, other than to post a picture for my family to see.  It has caused me to put things at work into perspective and truly ask myself what I think should be the best use of my time.  This is an ongoing process and I have just begun.

5. I am now able to experience love in a whole new way.  That statement is somewhat self explanatory but I'll elaborate on this more in a future post.

6. Five years of marriage was the right amount of time to wait before having a baby.  I'm not trying to persuade you to make certain decisions but for Katy and I, 5 years was the perfect amount of time.  We were able to build a solid family foundation consisting of faith, love, trust, memories, experiences, finances, and support systems.  Would we have been able to make it if we had a baby sooner?  I'm sure we would have made it.  If we would have waited a few more years I'm sure that would have been just fine too.  But 5 years (almost to the day) is what we needed for our family.  You and your family may ideally require more or less time than that.

Happy 3 month Birthday Beau Bradley!  I'm excited for the months, years, decades, and even seconds to come!

How did you feel when you became a new parent?

Priorities

If you are a follower of this blog you aware that I haven't posted much in the past few months.  In fact, I stay about 3 days behind on my Twitter feed and I rarely even check facebook.  I've never been a social media addict but I do believe that it has the ability to enhance my life, in the form of learning, connecting, leading, and expressing.  

We have a new principal this year and this is video she showed us on the first day together as a faculty/staff.  It's a concept that I'm familiar with but I had not thought about it since becoming a father this summer.  Its an excellent illustration about creating priorities.  Take 6 minutes and see how you can apply this to your life.

What are your big rocks? Although I really enjoy them, apparently blogging and social media are no longer big rocks for me.  I still think both are important in my life, but there are other priorities that are higher on the list.

No Distractions

This past spring break my wife and I took a trip to Sedona, AZ.  It was just what we needed.  The unique beauty of Sedona is unlike anything I have ever seen.

The place that we stayed was outside of the city and down in a valley.  Because of this we did not have cell phone reception.  Okay.  We can do this.  It's only for a week.  We got to our room and realized that we do not have wifi either. 

So here we are.  No cellphone.  No reception.  No internet.  No Twitter.  No Facebook.  Not to mention, we gave up watching TV for Lent.

It was weird.  It's weird not having distractions.  We were so used to being distracted that we were distracted by not having distractions.  We did go to a local coffee shop one day for some wifi but this was more like a scheduled distraction.

As it turns out, we enjoyed not being able to check our phones and constantly be distracted.  We were able to read, talk, create, explore, exercise, relax, and so much more.  I think we may try disconnecting while we are at home to see if it still feels the same.

As a leader, regardless of your capacity, make sure that you allow people the time to disconnect, get away and relax.  As the leader of your family, make sure to schedule it.  As the leader of an organization, make sure to allow your employees to schedule.  It will be worth it in the long run.

The Wrong Room

One of my favorite quotes was shared by the editor of Men's Health Magazine @DaveZinczenko via Twitter.  The tweet says:

"WHAT WINNERS KNOW: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room."  

As leaders and learners we must surround ourselves with others that have more wisdom, knowledge, and experience than we do.  If we don't, we will become stagnate, irrelevant, and ineffective.

Growing up playing sports, I can remember my Dad encouraging me to play against older kids because it would make me better.  Although it didn't feel like it at the time, it began to make a huge difference in my ability.  We rise to the level of our competition.  If there is not a need to improve, you probably won't. 

For those of you in a leadership position such as a teacher, CEO, superintendent, etc. part of your job description is being the smartest person in the room.  If this is the case and you are the wisest and most experienced, make sure to dedicate time to attend Professional Development, find a mentor, further your education, and meet with other leaders in your field and in other fields to stay sharp.

Twitter, blogs, and other forms of social media make this possible more than ever today.  My favorite aspect of Twitter is the ability to learn from so many leaders from across the country on a daily basis.  @KevinEast refers to this on his blog as having distant mentors.  You can read that post here.

The Book of Proverbs says it this way:

As iron sharpens iron, so one man (or woman) sharpens another.   -Proverbs 27:17. 

Are you in the right room?  If not, what are you going to do about it?


Next Steps:
1. Find a few leaders that you respect and make them your distant mentors via books and social media.

2. Contact a leader in your organization, church, or community ask them to meet with you.  Most would love to meet with anyone who aspires to improve.  Make sure you come prepared with a list of questions and topics of conversations.  Don't just show up and say, "Teach me."

3. Think of a few of your friends, coworkers, or anyone that you think wants to learn and grow, and ask them if they would be interested to meet for breakfast or lunch on a regular basis.  You can read and discuss books, share what each is currently learning, or anything else that involves personal and professional growth. 

8 Ways To Get The Most Out Of A Conference

If you get the opportunity to attend a conference, do whatever you can to learn something new.  Here are a 8 tips for success.

1. Arrive early - The quicker you get your mind accustomed to the environment, the sooner you will be ready to learn.

2. Sit near the front - Your attention will increase and distractions will decrease.

3. Turn off your phone - You are there to learn.  People can bother you on your normal schedule.


4. Look For Application - Constantly ask the question, "How does this apply to me." 

5. Take notes - Worst case scenario, you take notes and never look at them again.  The simple act of writing something out helps you process and recall information.  Its worth the extra effort.

6. Strike up a conversation - It is helpful to ask your neighbor what they think about this new information.  You will get a new perspective and have the chance to shape and defend your own. Plus, it helps to meet new people and make connections for networking purposes. 

7. Process - Take time at the end of the day to process the information.  Before you leave, decide the few ideas that you plan to implement as soon as you return.  This way you have something to say when someone asks you "How was the conference?"

8. Share - Conferences are pointless if you don't do anything with the information.  Share ideas with your team when you get back and decide how this new information can make the biggest difference.

Below are a few things NOT to do at a conference.

I was at the Model Schools Conference today in Muskogee, OK.  The speaker was great, I learned a lot, and I got to see some great people that I haven't seen in quite some time.  During the conference, filled with educators mind you, I could not help but notice the large amounts of people that were not engaged.  Normally I would not notice but we were in an arena so I could see everyone seated on the floor.  I found it interesting that many of the educators portrayed the same behavior that they despise from their students.  Here are 4 ways to waste time at a conference in the form of characters I observed. (These are just nicknames but the behaviors are not gender specific.)

1. Temperature Tammy:  This is the person that makes it obvious to everyone around that they are either hot or cold.  We know it's hot in here.  You don't have to look around to see if other people agree with you.  It's 100+ outside and it has been for over a month.   Waving your folder that hard and fast is probably a little counterproductive.  Just accept the fact that you will be warm and focus.


2.  Phone Call Phil:  Answering your phone in the middle of the room, in the middle of a speaker session?  Really?  What on earth is wrong with you?  Please take the 30 seconds and walk out of the room.

3.  Gary the Gamer:  You're at a conference to learn from experts in your field.  You or your district paid good money for you to be there.  Can you not hold off on angry birds until you are dismissed?

4.  Skip:  It's funny how the morning sessions are always more full than the afternoon sessions.  Where did you go?  You paid money to attend a conference, drove to a different city, and decided to only stay for half of it? 


What helps you get the most out of a conference?

Graduation: The Beginning

Being an educator and living on a college campus, I have the privilege of attending many graduations.  To be honest, I used to hate it.  It's a formality.  It's not required.  You don't even get your diploma on that day.  As a spectator, you sit and listen to people talk for over an hour until your friend/family has their name called as they walk across the stage for 5 seconds.  What a way to spend an afternoon!

My Sister Ashley

Close

However, the farther I get into the field of education the more and more graduation is growing on me.  I might even say I enjoy it.  I like to imagine all of the amazing things that are going to be accomplished by the people in the caps and gowns.  I like to think about all of the problems that could be solved by the people with the tassels and cords.  I like to think about how far each has come from their freshmen year or even middle school years.

Graduation itself is not a life-changing experience.  It is a celebration of the life-changing events that graduates have experienced. 

Another reason I like graduation is that it serves as both an end and a beginning.  The ceremony is often called the commencement.  The root of that word being commence, which means start or begin.  As people graduate from high school, college, or graduate programs, they may be finished with their degree but they are beginning something new.  They now have new knowledge, new perspectives, new goals, new opportunities.  How exciting to be a graduate!

As you attend graduation ceremonies as a participant or a spectator, remember that you are not there for entertainment.  You are there to celebrate, support, dream, and begin!

What's The Plan Stan?

I was in the gym the other day and my friend Andrew asked me what I was doing.  (Obviously I was working out but he was asking about my exercise routine.)  I briefly told him about the 4 week plan that I am currently doing from Men's Health Magazine.  Andrew said, "You're into plans aren't you?"  I quickly answered yes but I have been thinking about it ever since.

I am into plans.  In my experience, plans work.  And even if plans don't work, you are still probably better off than you would be without one.  I like workout plans because they remind me what to do everyday so that I can push myself to get better.  When the plan is over I am able to see its effectiveness based on my strength and endurance.  Without a workout plan, I would just go hang out in the gym and not get any stronger.

I like plans for other areas of my life as well.

The purpose of this post is not to tell you about my plans but rather to say that I have learned that the old saying "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" is definitely true.  I have a plan for my marriage, career, health, finances, education, future, and pretty much anything you can think of.

Do my plans always work?  Absolutely not.  And when they don't, I simply re-evaluate situation and make a new plan. 

Unfortunately, sometimes people have good intentions but end up planning the wrong things.
People spend more time planning their wedding than their marriage.
People spend more time planning decorations for their new house than they plan paying for it.
People spend more time planning a week long vacation than they do the next 5 years of their life.  People spend more time planning a meal than they do planning their healthy lifestyle.
People spend more time planning a toddler's birthday party that they won't remember than planning to develop their character or their college fund.

What do your plans look like?

What's It Going To Take?

What is it going to take for you to make a change for the better?  

Are you going to wait until you get a doctor's diagnosis before you start exercising & eating healthy? 
Are you going to wait until you go bankrupt before you start living within your means? 
Are you going to wait until you get fired before you look for the job you really want? 
Are you going to wait for the divorce papers before you work on your marriage? 
Are you going to wait until the funeral before you apologize?
Are you going to wait until mandatory rehab before you face your addiction? 
Are you going to wait to get hurt again before you ask for help? 
Are you going to wait until you're good enough before you ask God to change your life? 

I mean I guess you could wait before you make the change.  Or you could save some heartache, pain, tears, and time and go ahead and make the change now. 

Why wait for good health, financial security, purpose, great marriage, freedom, safety, and Love when you can make the choices to change for the better today!

What's The Weather Like?

My wife and I had dinner with some friends of ours tonight.  Yes, they are old enough to be our grandparents but they are funny, wise, kind, great Christian role models.  We like to hang out with them when we can. 

We have a lot of people we like to spend time with but we make sure to spend time with people wiser and more experienced than us so that we may learn from them.  They also claim that we help keep them young but I think they do a pretty good job on their own.

Two paragraphs from Donald Miller's book Father Fiction paint a wonderful picture of why this is necessary.

I was on a plane a few years ago, flying from Chicago to Portland, and happened to plug my headphones into the jack on the armrest.  On a plane, you can sometimes listen to the radio transmissions coming in and out of the cockpit.  I was curious about what pilots say to each other so, like a good geek, I listened for a while.  It turns out, most of the transmissions are about weather and whether or not the plane is heading for choppy air.  The pilot would radio to a plane that was en route an hour or so ahead of us and get a report on what kind of turbulence they were experiencing; then would turn and radio the plane that had just taken off in Chicago to explain what sort of air we were fling through at the moment.  They system was primitive, but intelligent.

It occurred to me, listening to the pilots talk to each other, how much this is like life.  I could see it clearly, the fact that in life there are people being born, just as others are passing away.  And all the way through life, the guys who are twenty years ahead are teaching the guys twenty years behind what kind of weather they will be encountering at whatever stage of life they happen to be living in.

Do you have older, wiser, experienced people speaking into your life?  If not, I challenge you to find someone by next week.

Life as a Principal

I love my job!

I am a middle school assistant principal.  It is safe to say that my job is never boring. 

On any given day I could be...

a judge making decisions regarding consequences for poor behavior.
a crime scene investigator, checking survilliance cameras.
a detective questioning witnesses and doing background checks.
a teacher covering a class if there is not a substitute.
a janitor cleaning up the cafeteria in between lunches.
a bouncer breaking up physical altercations.
a counselor mediating girl drama.
an instructional leader providing strategies to teachers...I wish I could do this more :(
a mentor helping students make better life decisions.
a coach giving kids pointers during lunch recess.

And all of this could happen before lunch! (except for the lunch recess one of course)

Of course, there are also things I don't like about my job but I think this is true for everyone and every job. You have to choose to focus on the good, invest in those around you, and keep showing up. 

Give It Up

What are you giving up for Lent? 

Have you heard someone ask that?  Did you wonder what in the world they were talking about?

Lent is a Christian tradition in which believers pray, fast, give, or sacrifice something for the 40 days before Easter.  Lent officially begins Ash Wednesday, which is this week.  You may even see people who have a cross on their forehead on Wednesday night.  You can learn more about Lent and Ash Wednesday here.

Why participate in Lent?  It is a great way to prepare our hearts, minds, and bodies for the greatest day of the Christian calendar, Easter.

Lent is not about simply giving something up like a New Year's Resolution.  Lent is about doing (or not doing) something that interrupts your daily life that will cause you to pray, remember what God has done, and grow closer to God.

Here are a few things that people may choose to give up during Lent:

- Give up caffeine to remember that God is the source of all strength and energy.
- Give up complaining or negative comments  and ask God to show you the best in all people and situations.
- Give up listening to music in the car and take the time to have conversations with loved ones or with God.
- Give up television or video games and read the Bible or a daily devotional instead.


Katy and I will be giving up TV during the 40 days of Lent.  Instead we plan to read, listen to positive music and podcasts, talk, play games, and learn to enjoy the silence.

Here are a few things that people may choose to do during Lent:

- Read the Bible and/or pray every day.  
- Write 40 encouraging notes to people who have made a difference in your life.
- Run or walk everyday.  Less about physical exercise and more about time alone with God.
- Give something away everyday.
- This church is doing something different each day of the week.  

I am going to send positive and encouraging messages via facebook, twitter, and text message every day during the 40 days of Lent.

These are just a few ideas.  You know what would work best in your life.  What you do or don't do is not important.  Please understand, participating in Lent will not make God love you more or less.  Participating in Lent will develop and strengthen your relationship with God as you catch a small glimpse of the sacrifice and giving God has done for you.

Education Reform

Interesting thoughts on Education in the 21st Century.


What do you think about it?

Emotional Bank Account

Everyone has an emotional bank account. 

Every time you say or do something positive for someone you make a deposit.  A compliment, words of encouragement, thank you card, act of service, and the like are all examples of making a deposit into someones emotional bank account.

However, when you say or do something negative you make a withdraw from their emotional bank account.  When you speak harshly, use sarcasm, make rude comments, gossip, lie, or hurt someone in any way that would be a withdraw. 

In life, withdraws will happen.  You are going to have to speak the truth in love or make a tough decision that may hurt someone's feelings.  The important thing is that you have made enough deposits that the inevitable withdraws don't cause emotional bankruptcy for someone.

In 2011 I challenge you to enrich the lives of your family, friends, students, coworkers, and even strangers by making numerous deposits in their emotional bank accounts.  You can make people rich without spending a dime!

(Emotional Bank Account concept by Steven Covey)

Fruits of Labor

Lately my wife Katy and I have been "fixing up" a house.  New paint, carpet, tile, light fixtures, deep cleaning, etc...  It has been so rewarding to watch our progress.  We remember what it looked like and smelled like in the beginning and have worked hard to develop it into the end product that we pictured in our minds.

This isn't something we get to do very often.  Not fixing up a house but getting to see a whole project come together.  As educators we rarely get to see the end product.  My wife works with college students and I with middle schoolers and although they are not "fixer uppers" (I guess some of them are), they are still developing as young men and women.  Yes we remember what they looked like (and smelled like) when they came to us and yes we are able to see some progress. Unfortunately, we rarely get to see the final product as the students are still developing as they move on to the next stage in their lives.

I can speak from experience and say that the feeling you get when you create something from start to finish is rewarding, whether it be fixing up a house, knitting a scarf, making a video, writing a book, making a craft, etc...  However, it is only a fraction as rewarding as getting the opportunity to see a successful student that you have poured your life into. 

Being educators (or parents, pastors, managers, supervisors, mentors, or any leader really), we rarely get to see the fruits of our labor.  But when we do, it sure makes all the time, effort, and energy worthwhile and fuels us to continue to work with the students we have, while we have them.