The Best Way to Improve Your Marriage

What is the best way to improve your marriage?  

A friend of mine recently asked me this question.  First of all, I was flattered that he thought I would even know the answer to that question.  Thankfully, it is a question I have asked many men that I admire as husbands.  I have read books and blogs on marriage, heard sermons and lectures on marriage, and studied the marriages of couples that I admire and respect.  Combining all of that wonderful information, there is one answer that stands out above all the others.  There is one thing that I have seen work in the lives of others and have personally experienced in my own life.  Do you want to know what it is?

Before I tell you, I must say when I first heard the answer I didn't like it.  The answer seems frustrating and impractical.  It seemed totally Sunday School.  However, I can only speak from my experience and say that the answer could not be more true.

The best way to improve your marriage is to improve your relationship with God.  It's a frustrating answer.  I told you it would be.  I mean how can you improve on something by working on something else?  It just doesn't seem logical.  I thought it would be something practical like spend more time together, do nice things for each other, or even something spiritual like pray together.  Nope.  All of those things are good and I highly recommend them but they are all byproducts of pursuing God.

God is Love.  God created Love.  We wouldn't know what Love looked like if it wasn't for God's demonstrations of Love.  Therefore, the more we seek the Creator of Love, the more we will be able to understand what it means to Love and the better we will be able to Love our spouse and improve our marriage.

Want a better relationship with your spouse?  Seek a deeper relationship with God.  I wish I could explain more but you'll just have to experience it for yourself.  I wasn't a believer until my pursuit of God became greater than the pursuit of my wife.  Here are 3 things that strengthened my pursuit of God:

Pray daily that God would fill you with the desire to seek Him.  Although I wanted it, I didn't naturally have the desire to consistently seek God.  I got tired of trying to be disciplined enough and tired of trying to make myself seek God.  After many bouts of frustration I gave up trying to be disciplined and asked God to fill me with the desire to seek Him. 

Read His word consistently.  The Bible is full of Divine Wisdom and the book of Proverbs is a good place to start.  Commit to read a Chapter of Proverbs everyday for a month.  Also, the Bible App youversion.com is available on all smart phones as well as the internet.  There are dozens of plans to help you get started.  Check it out the free Bible app here.

Find your Purpose.  There is an abundance of joy, passion, and peace when you are doing what you are created to do.  Books like The Purpose Driven Life and Chazown are great tools to help discover a greater purpose for your life.  In fact, you can even go through the Chazown Experience online, in a class, or with your small group.  It is a great tool to help discover your purpose.

It is amazing how my relationship with my wife has developed as my relationship with God has developed.  My prayer is that you will have the same experience.

What is the best thing that has improved your marriage?