How To Make A Good 1st Impression

My last post was how leaders can make a BAD first impression.  

This post will be 4 ways to make a GOOD first impression.

1. Set expectations.  Rules were made to be broken.  Expectations were made to be met.  A simple name change can make a big difference.

2. Ask Questions.  God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason.  Listen twice as much as you talk.  Ask questions to see what students/employees/players already know before you bore them to death.  If someone else can give information by answering your question, take advantage of that.
 

3. Be very clear.  The gap between expectation and reality is disappointment.  If you expect your students/employees/players to do or not do certain things you need to explain that to them very clearly.  It is also good practice to set them up to meet your expectations early and often and praise them for doing so.

4. Serve and support.  The best way for you to build trust and win people over is to serve them and support them in some form or fashion.  If they need something to better meet your expectations, get it for them.  If they are struggling with something, help and support them.  It may sound daunting depending on your school/organization/team but serve and support who and where you can.  Stories will spread, along with trust.


You can overcome a bad first impression but wouldn't you rather not have to?   

How To Make A Bad 1st Impression

I am a huge fan of the 1st days of school.  This is a time when kids, parents, and educators are the most excited about teaching and learning.  I especially like this because I'm the weirdo that's excited about teaching and learning 24/7/365.  Nevertheless, the first days of school are all about 1st impressions. A student has a pretty good idea what a teacher or class will be like after the first day and vice versa.

Having been through 5 first days of school as a teacher, 2 as an administrator, and dozens as a substitute teacher (the first day is everyday that you are in a new class), I have experienced and seen quite a few strategies that do and don't work.

Here are 5 strategies that teachers/bosses/coaches/leaders  can use to make a BAD first impression. (Next post will be making good first impressions.)


1. Try to intimidate.  Getting people to fear you can be effective.  The more threats you can make the better, especially if you won't be able to follow through with them. This will work like a charm until they find out you aren't scary, then you will lose your credibility.  If you actually are intimidating, performance will be lower because fear is not a productive environment.

2. Talk as much as you can.  When someone first meets you, all they want to do is hear you talk.  Talk as much as you can so you can impress them by how much you know what you are talking about.  Your voice will soon become torturous and people will eventually stop listening.

3. Try to be buddy-buddy.  The first thing you should do is become friends with everyone.  Friends will do anything for other friends.  So the quicker you can get your students/players/employees to be your friends the more they will respect you.  The problem is friends don't usually discipline or set clear expectations for other friends.  Then when it happens, the phrase "I thought we were friends" comes out and then you are no longer friends, which makes things awkward. 

4. Flex your authority.  People won't respect you unless you tell them your title.  Once they realize your title is 'higher' than theirs, they will automatically give you the respect that your title deserves.  The "because I said so" and "I'm in charge" attitude is how you get things accomplished.  Use it early and often as long as you want people to respect your title and not respect your work or you as a person.

5. Be vague.  It can be threatening to tell people exactly what you want them to do.  Instead, dance around the issue, drop a few hints, and hope they eventually do what you need them to do.  An additional technique is to critique them on how they didn't meet the expectations that they didn't know you set.  Makes a bad impression every time!

What has someone done to make a BAD first impression on you?