Cheating Destroys Character

I recently had the privilege of attending the Freshmen Leadership Retreat with some of the best students at my school.  It was refreshing getting to know some of the current and future leaders of our school.  The purpose of the day is to develop leadership skills.  They do this by team building, playing games, an having learning sessions throughout the day.

The great part about these crazy games is that they often bring out character traits and provide quick teaching moments.  For example, the students were playing that game with the hula hoop where you're holding hands and have to pass it around a circle by going through it.  (Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about because everyone has played that game!)

Even though these were some of the best students in the school, one group did the unthinkable.



They cheated.  It's not like it was that big of deal.  I mean it was a silly hula-hoop game.  Sure it was a race between teams but no one was keeping score.  Not many people noticed and it wouldn't have ruined the day.  Some people even laughed it off, thinking it was funny.  I mean, who cares if someone cheats during a dumb hula hoop game that no one wants to play anyway?

Well I noticed it and since it was a leadership retreat and the purpose was to develop leaders I thought it  would be a great teaching opportunity.  I gathered them around and shared something like this:

If you cheat or take short cuts when it doesn't matter, you'll eventually cheat and take short cuts when it really matters.  You start telling yourself its okay to cheat on a silly hula-hoop game, then it moves up to Monopoly, then you start cheating on a test, and then it's your taxes, and then its your spouse.  And before you know it you've slowly developed a character of dishonesty and no one wants to be your friend, do business with you, or marry you because your reputation says you can't be trusted. 

And it doesn't matter if you were in the group that cheated but didn't actually cheat.  If you knew about it and didn't say anything you are just as guilty.  You were a part of the group and your name is now associated with cheating and you'll have to prove yourself trustworthy.  

Some of the students responded with an amen or applause.  Other students seemed bothered by it.  However it made them feel, I hope they remember it because it is incredibly true.  Cheating at games is a gateway crime.  It starts as something silly and harmless but has the potential to slowly develop into something extremely dangerous and destructive.

Parents, do you get onto your kids for cheating at games?  How do you teach them how to be competitive without teaching them to win at all costs?