The Secret to Making Friends

You learn something new everyday.  Here is what I learned today from my friend Reece.
She is 8 years old.

The setting is a large dinner for all the faculty and staff of a small university where my wife works.  Reece is the daughter of one of our friends and she decided that she wanted to sit at our table.  The dinner was self serve buffet style so when the MC said go, hundreds of people got in line for food.  While waiting, I met some new people at our table and we made small talk for about 20 minutes. 

Here is the profound conversation that Katy and I had with Reece when we returned to the table: 

Reece:  I made a new friend!

Me: You did?  Where did you meet them?

Reece:  In line.

Me:  What was their name?

Reece:  I don't know.

Katy:  What did you talk about?

Reece: About how the line was long and how we wanted it to go faster.

Katy:  Did you come up with ways to make it go faster?

Reece:  Yeah, but I don't remember what we said.

Do you remember those days?  The days when all you needed was one thing in common with someone and they instantly became your friend?  Even if that one thing was wishing the line would go faster?  That's it!  That's the secret!  Find one thing you have in common with someone and that is the beginning of a great friendship. 

Working in education at the middle school, high school, and college levels, I can tell you that this is usually the opposite of what happens.  Friendships can end or never even start because of one thing that you DON'T have in common with someone.

At what age do we unlearn this secret to making friends?  When do we start looking at differences rather than similarities? 

Why am I so stingy with who I call my friend?  I consider myself to be a friendly person, however, I wouldn't consider the people that I met and talked to for 20 minutes my friends...and I even remember their names!

Thank you Reece, and all of the other elementary kids out there, for setting a great example and reminding me of the secret to making friends.